Beyond the Headscarf

First published by Stephens Life magazine. View here.

Muslim-American women share their hijab experiences

I knew her religion before I knew her name. The conscious decision to wear a hijab and show affiliation with Islam, which has been surrounded by negative connotations, requires courage. I knew that beyond the headscarf she was like me — a woman with dreams and aspirations. I walked over and said hi.

According to Pew Research, the U.S. Muslim population exceeds 3 million, and approximately half of the women who identify as Muslim wear a headscarf. Despite that, the headscarf is still surrounded by curiosity and prejudice. In this article, four Midwestern Muslim- American women share their hijab experiences to spread awareness and understanding of what it means to be a Muslim-American woman today.

Redefining Fashion with Summer Albarcha

High school had just started and Summer Albarcha wanted to appear friendly. Like every other ninth-grader at Parkway West High School in Ballwin, Missouri, making friends was important to her. Unlike them, Albarcha had an additional concern: she didn’t want her headscarf to deter anyone from wanting to be her friend. Albarcha, who identifies as Muslim-American, was very interested in modest fashion, a way of dressing that reveals less skin for reasons of faith, religion, or personal preference.

She was always styling her family and friends and wanted to shatter stereotypes about people who dress modestly. “You can decide to maintain your values and also dress in a way that’s fashionable, fun, and professional,” she says. Instead of allowing her religious beliefs to be an obstacle for her fashion styling, Albarcha’s creativity flowed. She began noticing modest fashion hashtags on social media and decided to start her own blog and contribute to this community. “Pre-social media, the only source of inspiration was in magazines and billboards and there wasn’t much diversity,” she says. Finally, she felt like her interest in the fashion world and modest styling had a common ground.

Now, Albarcha is a modest fashion influencer based in New York who shares her styles with over 500,000 followers. She has been featured in Teen Vogue, Marie Claire, numerous brand partnerships and advertising campaigns, including Summer Salt. She was also a model for Karlie Kloss’ Express Runway Show. Albarcha recognizes she had an easy transition into wearing the hijab and wishes to inspire others who might be struggling, “Whether it be in [wearing] hijab, dressing modestly or just in getting ready in the morning, I would love if someone would come to my page, get their inspiration and then get ready and feel confident,” she adds.

Identifying as a Feminist with Humera Lodhi

Humera Lodhi is a University of Missouri journalism and statistics graduate, who is currently pursuing a master’s degree at the highly selective Columbia University in New York. She grew up in Columbia, Missouri and knew she wanted to wear the hijab since she was a child. During her upbringing, her parents, who are from India, attended the local mosque. Lodhi grew up in an environment centered around Muslim community and was surrounded by women who wore headscarves. She said that seeing women who she looked up to wearing the hijab, made her want to wear it too. “My parents, and my mom specifically, always did a really good job about encouraging me to learn about faith on my own,” she says. Her mother encouraged her to read about the meaning of hijab and why women wear it. Lodhi explains that in a world that objectifies women and focuses on their appearance, choosing to dress in a modest way is inspiring, “Hijab was something that was really empowering for me and actually what lead me down the road of identifying as a feminist. Hijab allowed me to gain confidence. When I was putting the headscarf, I was covering what was irrelevant about me and highlighting what was most important: my thoughts and my opinions,” she concludes.

The Transition with Hanna Abdulkhaleq

Life changes are often met with excitement and celebration. For Hanna Abdulkhaleq, a senior biology major at the University of Missouri, this celebration of change occurred when her friends threw her a surprise hijab party. The summer before starting college, Abdulkhaleq went to Dubai with her family. She decided to start wearing the hijab there and come back wearing it. “I thought that was the best transition. I didn’t really have to worry about people around me because the majority there are Muslim,” she explains. Upon her return, her friends showed her their support by putting together a celebration. When Abdulkhaleq walked into her friend Humera’s basement, she was surrounded by pastel party décor, her favorite food, and most importantly, her friends. “I started crying and everyone embraced me,” Abdulkhaleq says, “It was one of the best days of my life. I’ll remember it forever and cherish it.”

This sense of belonging and community was particularly important for Abdulkhaleq. As the daughter of a Japanese mother and a Palestinian father, she and her two sisters grew up eating Japanese noodles and Arabic dishes. They celebrated New Years by cleaning the house and commemorated Eid al-Fitr at the end of Ramadan (Muslim fasting). Initially, being part of two cultures made Abdulkhaleq feel like she didn’t fit in, but when she joined a youth group at her mosque, she found a community. She got more in touch with her religion and started to wear the hijab occasionally when attending the mosque. In high school, Abdulkhaleq knew she wanted to wear a headscarf permanently but was scared to do so. One of her first experiences wearing the hijab was on a Friday after going to the mosque, “I remember this car of guys passing us and screaming things at us, jihad and stuff like that. I got really scared and thought ‘I can’t wear this right now’,” she says.

Deciding to wear the headscarf in Dubai was easy, “I was so happy and comfortable. I felt like I fit in,” Abdulkhaleq says, “When I was coming back [to the U.S.] I didn’t feel as comfortable. Whenever anyone starts wearing the hijab, you are more aware of your surroundings. Sometimes you automatically think, is this person staring at me because of my hijab, or is it just because that’s how they are?” she says. However, she was firm in her decision to wear a headscarf, “Personally, I felt closer to God. Hijab isn’t only physical; it is internal, and it is about modesty,” she explains. Abdulkhaleq walked into her first college class in a huge auditorium; it was her first time wearing the hijab in a classroom, “I am pretty sure I was the only one wearing it there. I was very nervous, and on top of that it’s the first day of college too,” she says. But with time, it became easier, “I realized college is very relaxed and no one really cares.” She began watching YouTube videos to learn about different ways to wrap headscarves. She also learned from friends and experimented until she found a style she liked. Her favorite fabric for headscarves is jersey, and although she bought some of her scarves abroad, she now orders them online.

Being a Muslim with Sara Diab

For Sara Diab, a Stephens College graduate student, being a Muslim means having a connection with God regardless of the situation you are in. “It means keeping the mentality that God is directly involved in everything, in every aspect of my life,” she says. While xenophobia against Muslim people already existed in the U.S., prejudice grew during the aftermath of 9/11. As a young kid, Diab says she was lucky to be attending a private school at the time. She tells the story of a friend whose headscarf was ripped of her head as a kid questioned her about what she was hiding in her backpack. Diab still had to endure remarks like “your grandfather is Osama bin Laden and you are lying about it” or “your parents are going to force you to get married when you turn 13.” Despite these experiences, Diab moved on and remained strong in her faith. “Humans are resilient; we find a way to deal with it. People are put in a lot of tougher situations and still manage to survive it and go on, things like living in extreme poverty or sex trafficking. In comparison, I don’t think that what I had to deal with was that difficult. This is the path I want to be on and I can’t let other people decide for me to leave that path,” she says. Diab believes that with the internet, things can be better. People who want to know more about Islam, can know. Going beyond the media’s portrayal of Islam can start with a deeper Google search, a book, or a conversation. Diab explains that it is important not to be judgmental and to conduct further research,

“Whenever you are viewing a specific aspect of a culture, you are viewing it through your own cultural lens. So, you are not approaching it the same way that people who live in that culture are. Nothing exists in a vacuum. Whenever you are looking at one piece of a culture, you cannot understand it just by looking at that piece, you have to look at how it fits into all of the other pieces,” she says.

Not all Muslim women wear a headscarf. Some wear a niqab or a burka, while others wear none of these garments. The four women interviewed for this story assure that wearing a hijab is their personal decision — something between them and God. However, this is not the case for everyone. In Iran, where the law requires women to wear a headscarf, some are protesting, fighting for their right not to cover up. Others have fought to wear the hijab, niqab, or burka in France, at a boxing ring, in the basketball court, and even in the U.S. Congress floor. It all comes down to freedom. Freedom to choose your religion, your clothing, freedom over your body. It’s time for freedom.